The story of a girl struggling with self identity and coming to terms with the duality of man. And finding ways to love it. #livingparadox 🥂
I am sunshine.
It took me a long time to come to terms with this again, but it is true.
I am my truest, most authentic self when I am shining down/lighting up others.
For the longest time I called it
(This ability of mine to make others happy as much as I usually am)
A character flaw
I associated it with being childish or childlike.
What is it about life that is bubbly and ecstatic at 20?
Oh, the big and mighty 20!😂😂
But being a Christian is not that what we are truly called to be… childlike?
I am sunshine.
Sometimes I envy the moon for its soft glow and calm lofi vibe.
But I am moree
I am not this cowered version of light.
This reflection of light I have tried to form myself into
Forgetting I am the light itself
And I cannot be hidden.
I am sunshine.
I have more questions than answers.
But the beauty of being light is
The more you look through it
The more everything becomes clear
I am sunshine.
I do not mean it as a boast.
It is merely a statement of fact.
At my full potential, I rise slowly but surely in the morning.
Gently peeping through the clouds
Preparing the world for my shine
And then like the child game
Ready or not... I appear.
Touching souls, warming hearts
That, to me, is in making people laugh and feel seen.
That is my whole personality.
Functioning by making others functional
Seems like no function at all on some days.
Forgetting that I am light and I do light up the rest
That in itself is beautiful and functional.
I am sunshine.
I have down times when I let the moon be the main character.
That to me is my melancholy.
Where I let myself reflect
In those times my work period is over, I don’t want to be sunshine anymore.
I want to be me, just me.
Whoever that is
I don’t want to affect others moods even though it may be positively.
I don’t even want to shine lest I call attention my way.
I just want to be—être.
So when I’m not at full potential
I am human.
that doesn’t change the fact, though, that
I am sunshine. ❤️
~Girl Melancholy💜